Hey guys!
LIVE IN CHARLESTON?
love pocket smut? (you should. if you follow me its like your fucking duty.) (pocketsmut.tumblr.com)
we’re having ap ocket smut event. PLEASE COME
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=106088856109845&ref=ts
June 2010
whut up queer.
thats just waht my hair cut says. it just says ” guess! I might be a boy!”
SELFISHINDIVIDUALMASQUERADINGASACTIVIST.
pure irritation.
So my cousin and my brother visited me this past weekend.
Namit and Dave, namit who is two years older than my brother, six years older then me. Naturally him and my brother have always been closer. The following things occurred to me in my time with them:
1. My pre college relationship to them is very diffrent from my relationship now. Now we are equals, I am respected and treated like one of them. We are very diffrent, but I am intelligent which is good.
2. I believe in statutory rape. They do not. When I was 14 I thought it was stupid, now that I’m not 14 not so much.
3. Men, alot of times, aren’t aware of how common rape is because women don’t feel comfortable sharing that information with them. That is a problem. My cousin inparticular had trouble believing its frequency, but most of the women I know havebeen sexually abused in some manner.
4 they think completely in science and math and I am so focused on social issues. The y work abstract I work practical. this leads to fufilling discussion.
5. they have never questioned the gender binary.
6. I’m smarter.
dang.
I was going to post a photo of my hair! But its on the macbook pro and i”m on the other mac and fuck I need to go to bed.
today I got woken up from my nap by a call from kristie ( best way to wake up) and talking to her I just felt out of control. so drunnnnnk.
The other day I went to the beach really high and it was amazing .I took the best nap. Everything looked so beautiful and at one point in time I freaked cause everything looked colored in grey scale, which al though scary was something so great to expierance.
also a great expierance: my roommate’s toothpaste. It’s fennel flavored!
ALSO LAST NIGHT I HUNG OUT WITH GARIBAY AND BECCA AND MARGE AND IT WAS REALLY FUN.
taking a hit from jasmine hookah then drinking organic milk TASTES SO GOOD.
Today I:
- took a suprise nap! The hours seperating 2:00 and 4:45 were taken from me unwillingly.
- Saw the Amazing Mittens(warms my heart).
- Was nice to the owner of city lights who annoys me and who I normally act like a douche to.
- made plantain egg rice and peanut thai sauce which is so fucking delicious.
-read old tumblr posts! So awesome.
- put my hair up in a weird cool way?
- was really excited to go home on friday. I am so excited. I’m driving there with becca shaver. Can you say party car?
- found my wallet!
- applied to the bookstore online!
-watched some daria.
-smoked a cigarette.
just ate some cookies and milk.
now I’m going to play some video games!
then I’m going to go to bed.
I am like five years old.
just kidding!
I have internet at home!
I LIKE
dogs
breasts
zines
money
bartering
beetles.
for awhile me and pocketsmut did not follow each other.
fixed that problem!
I don't have the internet in my house anymore.
which means I can never post. but I’m sitting in a coffee shop using the internet for that exact reason! get ready for super spam. I’ve been writing so many posts in my head and I can finally let them out.
I’ve been feeling weird this past week and I htink this might help a little bit. By feeling weird I mean I’ve been feeling lonely. Really really lonely. this is definetly partially because of no internet. whcih always makes me feel really clicked in, but when I”m alone. I’m alone, which is ok. I listen to music and pretend to be productive but I really just lay on my couch alot.
I don't have the internet in my house anymore.
which means I can never post. but I’m sitting in a coffee shop using the internet for that exact reason! get ready for super spam. I’ve been writing so many posts in my head and I can finally let them out.
I’ve been feeling weird this past week and I htink this might help a little bit. By feeling weird I mean I’ve been feeling lonely. Really really lonely. this is definetly partially because of no internet which kind of clicks me into everything. zi’ve been spending alot of time alone, and when with people not really connecting.
i feel tired alot.
MOM, DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TODAY?
MOM, DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TODAY?
MOM, DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TODAY?
MOM, DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TODAY?
MOM, DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TODAY?
MOM, DON’T YOU HAVE WORK TODAY?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I AM PRETTY SICK OF SPENDING TIME WITH THIS WOMAN
OUR LIVES ARE THE SAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME. OH MAH GOD.
when I lived at home that is, and sometimes when I go home again. but the time in my life when that above sentiment occured has decreased dramatically.
Can I please go back through puberty and try again and see if I can not grow quite so much hair in my asscrack this time?
girl. yeah. I get this.
The angst machine I have been for the past few days explained by:
PERIOD.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Gary’s birthday. he would be what? 18? 17?
HE WOULD BE 17. HE DIED AT 16 YOU GUYS.
so fucking young.
OH YEAH FACTS: I guess we need some rules about the ask/submissions box →
ohyeahfacts.tumblr.com
- We will not whore you out. We don’t talk about who we are, we don’t mention our friends, and we’re not gonna give a shout out to you.
- We do not know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. We do not know if the girl you saw at the mall thinks you’re cute. Don’t ask us about your personal life….
Hell yeah.
knowing how it is to be an editor, I love this. They finally worked up the courage to crack and yes. yesyesyes. so good.
I'm a bit worried about my capacity to love.
I apoligize for this pathetic spamming.
but really.
I love myself, so into myself, so so so lost in myself. I sometimes don’t have room for other people. Am I really joking? maybe not.
I'm not depressed. just honest. ok. kind of sad but the natural way.
my life has been a series of people who have never loved me as much as I love them.
clarification; only in context to romantic relationships.
I feel weird. I feel like I need to stop lying to myself. because I do.
my camera isn't working.
but I’m drinking black currant . and its fucking classy.
summer is for.
isolation, curling in on inactivity and the same old same old .I haven’t talked to anyone but marge really.
I don’t want to talk to anyond but marge, really.
my roommate shows up at the most embarressing moments.
right now I’m eating newman os.
watching shitty television.
about to make a bagle, put a coal on the hookah and do some pocket smut stuff.
Your blowtorch is tight!
Are you in school right now or did you graduate?
Thanks man! I realized that you asked this like just now. So still in school!
thebeardedlady replied to your post: You’re a fantastic writer. What will you study in college?
I said this verbatim before I went to college (that does not mean to imply like you’ll turn out like me) love writing, love politics, but a degree in politics seemed better to me. Why just major in writing when I already knew how sort of?
Ah! No, I hope I turn out like you! Have you graduated?
hey no! I just finished my first year (which was pretty great). I spent my last two years of high school in art school for creative writing and I intended to get a poli sci or sociology degree (then I intended to go to grad school for creative writing) But I just changed my major to a creative writing studio art double major. I miss writing communities too much .
what I learned tonight:
drunk posts inevitable lose followers.
tough life.
but really? those are pretty great posts.
and freezepops and vodkka is an awesome idea
I mixed freezepops and vodks
and now I”m drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrunk.
that last post was hella long.
I don’t expect anyone to read it.
I’m just getting frustrated. and feeling anxiety and disgust and I”m upset.
This conversation is making me feel so sick!
- Ben: A woman has married the Eiffel Tower and is now suing the city of Paris because they did not allow her private time with it on their wedding night to "consummate the marriage." I am not even kidding. I also hear that there are troubles in the marriage - she has found another lover - the Berlin Wall. But he's already married to another woman in Sweden - SCANDAL.
- If you look it up online, you can find a documentary about her and other people who form romantic attachments to inanimate objects - called objectum sexuals. It is really upsetting.
- Me: I know OS is weird, and unusual, and rare. I also know that not a lot is known about it, but I think instead of being disturbed and disgusted maybe a more open approach is necessary? Not understanding someone's sexuality and reacting with disgust is the same mechanism that perpetuates homophobia.
- Ben: I agree that disgust is perhaps not the best reaction, and that always love and care should be exercised when dealing with people. However, I can never accept love for an inanimate object created from inanimate things as a legitimate form of sexuality. It goes against everything I personally hold to be true, as well as every major religion and philosophy, at least that I am aware of, throughout history. Just because one believes an inanimate object created from inanimate things has feelings does not mean that it does - just as the man who believes himself to be a poached egg is indeed not a poached egg. People receive treatment for such beliefs. The Eiffel Tower and the Berlin Wall and all other inanimate objects are just that - not alive. They have no soul or heart or sentience to love. Just as I can not and do not accept beastiality, I can not and do not accept "objectum sexuality" as a legitimate form of love or anything of the like. I would never promote hatred or phobia of anyone, but I will not support what I believe to be a true psychological problem - that would be more of a disservice, not to mention hypocritical of me.
- Me: Ben people receive treatments for being homosexual, and homosexuality was until very recently considered to be a psychological disease. You can view OS as a disease but the fact that it is perceived this way is not a valid argument towards delegitimizing its existence.
- Who are you to decide what is allowed and what is not? Who is diseased and who is healthy? If people perceive an inanimate object and build a relationship with one, they have that right. People do this all the time, especially in religions. The very idea of Jesus and God are ideas that people perceive to be true. Often people animate the image of Jesus and build a relationship with it. How exactly is this different? In a society where technology is becoming more and more a focus and human interaction is becoming less and less common I am surprised by how little understanding OS receives. As people we anthropomorphize everything around us from our cars to our phones to our computers. Although OS is different by the nature of the relationships perceived, its not that different. I'm sure you have anthropomorphized something, sometime in your life, Especially if you believe in God
- Beyond that it doesn't matter if you accept it, as a human you should be willing to treat other humans with respect even if you don't agree with them. How many times do people justify their homophobia with their lack of understanding of "how you can do that to another guy" Even though you may not understand, thats not a legitimate excuse for being disrespectful. Beyond that what if I mocked your sexuality and relationships with people? What if I encouraged you to believe sexuality was unhealthy and you should be ashamed of it? Even if you do believe that people should be ashamed of their sexuality its not your place to decide that.
- Ben: 1) I admitted the point that one shouldn't be mocking or cruel or disrespectful. However, my religion, which is just as legitimate as any other, prohibits such behaviour - just as all major religions do. That is something I would ask you to respect. I did not suggest that we enforce religious law on people, but I will not publicly support something so totally against my beliefs - just as I would not expect you to do; support your own beliefs, as you are doing now.
- 2) I would like to know what you say to the man who claims to be a poached egg. Because he believes fully that he is a poached egg, should we respect this opinion and treat him as a poached egg?
- 3) I do not claim to decide what is right or wrong - i have deferred that to who I believe to be God and His Church on Earth. I did not say that such people did not have the right to form a relationship with inanimate objects - I simply said that I do not, on the private level, accept it as a true and loving relationship in the perspective of my religion and faith. What is considered legal in secular eyes is for a secular vote to decide.
- 4) Jesus is a poor example to use, as we do not animate an idea, but believe and accept the truth of the Holy Trinity, the Living God in Three Persons - the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost - a Truth and Person that animate an idea. A religion is different from a sexual obsession.
- 5) The difference between OS and normal relationships is that normal relationships are with living people - reciprocal, biologically living organisms proven to share the feelings given. Just because society uses technology more and more as opposed to personal interaction does not make it right or OK - in fact many people say it hurts society and that we should rethink our reliance upon such things as social networking sites.
- 6) No - I have never anthropomorphiized anything to such an extent that I believe it has a life of its own. The extent of my anthropomorphizing would be calling a ship or car "she" simply because of social context. An inanimate object is, in my eyes, always without life and temporary in terms of eternity. My belief in God actually cements this concept.
- 7) Again, I conceded the point that one should be kind and loving in all dealings with such sensitive topics, but I will not just throw away my beliefs on a whim - just as you wouldn't. I also never said that I wanted to publicly deny one the right to sexual activity of any kind - I spoke in a completely private manner from the perspective of my religion. I respect everyone's right to believe whatever they want - that does not mean I have to respect the belief. Again, I can respect the right of a man to believe he is a poached egg - that does not mean I have to respect the idea that he is one. I should and am obligated to treat him with care, love and compassion of course - but not to concede that he is a poached egg. The same applies here.
- In the end, though, I really don't want to argue the point with you. We come from completely different world views, and I don' think that we will ever see eye to eye. So I ask if we can simply agree to disagree?
- Me: I understand not wanting to argue the point, however seeing intelligent people react to OS this way truly worries me. Especially with the justification you are providing which as I am interpreting is:
- -No I can never understand or approve of this behavior and therefor it is wrong
- - All religions, including mine, disapprove so it must be wrong.
- (I kind of doubt the religon thing btdubs. and if you were going by that justification it just doesn't make sense. Buddhism deems that all suffering stems from desire so oen must disengage from having desires. This includes having relationships. any relationships. That completely goes against christanity. And religons are prone to interpretation. Sects of Hinduism rely heavily on metaphorical relationship building with inanimate objects. Also what religon specifically out laws this?)
- the fact is several religions are perceived to disapprove of homosexuality.
- I guess what I'm trying to articulate: is yes you have the right to think or say or do whatever you want, however that does not mean that what you think or say is not rooted in intolerance/prejudice. Because ultimately I feel that your stance towards OS is very intolerant, and I don't see how its different from homophobia, and that disturbs me.
- I may also be over sensitive to this because I am a hemaphrodite and the medical community, the government, and some religons deny my existance. However I still very much exist as a hemaphrodite. Which makes religons which deny my existance very prejudice. The result of all this: Sexual reassignment surgery performed on infants that obliterate sexual funtion which IS NOT OK.
- To better articulate: the problem of prejudice thinking is not the thinking itself, but the product of it. By thinking your legitimizing practices which result in people being subjected to inhumane treatment like electroshock therapy for homosexuality. Thats what I'm against and thats why I'm arguing with you.
- Ben: I'm sorry to have struck such a personal nerve, but you also strike a personal nerve with me by insulting my faith and religion by automatically calling it prejudiced and intolerant without taking the time to understand it's complex theology on it's stances and understanding that all are based in love given their context. You may disagree, but please don't call my religion ignorant, even passively - because that's the sub-context that I get from this. If I am greatly mistaken, then I really apologize for misunderstanding.
- I did not say that I can not and do not want to understand it further. Again, I agreed that more research is needed - but according to my faith, anyone who has sexual desires directed towards anyone (or anything) that is not the opposite sex, then they are called to the higher, although very tough, vocation of chaste celibacy. Again, you may not agree with that, but it is our belief that is quite as legitimate as any other. I never said that they should go to electro-shock therapy, nor would I ever support such a thing. I would not even be in the camp that says they should attempt to change sexuality - even the Catholic Church, despite recognition for this fact, says that homosexuality is not a curable disease: they accept that it is a state of being. However, they do believe - according to Scripture and Holy Tradition - that any sexual acts - it doesn't matter what or with whom (or what) - outside of marriage are sinful, and therefore should be under one's control. Not subverted and covered up in a dangerous escapism, but taken on fully and learned to control.
- Again, I do not believe that God, creator and ruler of all things, approves of such behavior. My Church, which I believe to have Apostolic Authority passed down by Christ Himself, does not approve of such behaviour, and I have converted to this faith (after lots of study, meditation and prayer) and trust it for the safe keeping of eternal souls. Therefore no, I can not approve of it and yes, I do think that acting on such impulses is wrong. I am sorry that this upsets you so much, but just as you can not deny what you firmly beyond doubt to believe is true, neither can I. I would die for my faith - therefore I will not deny it.
- Also, the Buddhism example doesn't make sense. I never claimed to go into the details of relationships, just that religions across the board were not for it. Buddhism just goes to the extreme and cuts out all other relationships too. Just because their take on relationships is different than Christianity's does not automatically mean that they see it as OK. Again, they just go to the opposite extreme - but still deny it. If you would like to go away from the few times Buddhism and Christianity agree or overlap, even if slightly, and talk about their differences, we can. But I believe that is a separate conversation. I do admit that my knowledge of Hinduism is very limited, so I will bow to any higher authority or knowledge than my own. But in my limited experience, I have not come across anything that would approve of such behavior, even if not openly prohibiting it. And the lack of a prohibition does not always mean automatic approval. As for what religion specifically outlaws this, Christianity, Islam and Judaism (well, Orthodox) primarily. All rather clearly, too.
- My stance is different from homophobia because I am not unduly afraid of or nasty to homosexuals or anyone else. I believe that they have a different vocation, but that does not mean that I am a homophobe or anything else. Just ask any of my gay friends. I think your upset on this issue comes from a lack of understanding of Catholic theology on the subject and not understanding where I am truly coming from. I could be wrong, and if I am, I'm sorry - but perhaps there could be some room for learning and understanding there - just as I need to attempt to learn and understand other things in this debate.
- I am sorry that you are in such a tight and unpleasant position as a hemaphrodite. I would agree that more understanding and knowledge is needed, to be sure. But even still, I can't condone OS for a myriad of reasons rooted in my faith: reasons I would be happy to explain if you are interested, but it is more theology from that point as opposed to a debate.
- And please don't ever think that I condone such things as electroshock therapy or any such horror - I would never ever consider it acceptable. But loving support and help from the Church and certified psychologists/psychiatrists to help control one's emotions and impulses, yes. I understand that not everyone, in fact very few, people will accept my faith or agree with me - hence why I do not support legislation forcing it on everyone else. But I am quite entitled to this opinion privately and to the hope that others will join my religion - just most other major religions hold the same hope. I would fight someone suggesting electroshock therapy just as emphatically as I would argue the point I am defending now.
I'm arguing with this kid over Objectum Sexuality
is that what its called?
and I’m being crazy. I know I’m being crazy, but something in my like totally goes out to these ppoor individuals who don’t love people just things that the world does not understand and laughs at.
And people need to know that its not ok to laugh at them. They’re people too. And their sexuality is legitimate as anyone elses.
omg you guys.
I came home over the weekend on a whim. I have:
coffee ice cream.
indian food
television
steady internet.
mah besties.
I sound so lonely and shallow and awful but why would I ever leave? I man obvs because tv and internet are not enough and I have a life in charleston but I love being here rightt now.
Play
0:45
sculpt a grapefruit with a job
best advice I’ve ever heard.
1. Nola was freaking great. what a beautiful city, what beautiful people, no worries. However I could never live thaere permanetly. its such a city in peril.
2. just ate gross chinese take out. why on earth do I do that to my body?
3. lost my phone charger. have no phone. not so bad except I really need a phone because I’m applying for jobs and I really really need a phone! dang. life.
4. finding employment is hard. have applied to a cupcake shop. hope it works out.
5. I have developed a recent love for for grapefruit! raw and cold. nothing on it. mmmmm
6. I’m in scuplture! I have a blowtorch! WHHHHAAAAAT?
